Poems

Still Life of Mom in Her Garden (Bodegón de Mamá en Su Jardín)

《母亲花园静物图》(Bodegón de Mamá en Su Jardín)

Some afternoons are like this—
the stupor of Florida light
leaning between a vulture’s black wings
while he picks apart a garden snake
on the road outside our house.
On the road outside our house,
an ICE agent surveys our block like a bird
whose hovering means death
is nearby. Nothing really changes. Mom still doesn’t believe
in the dishwasher, thinks the only way
a plate can get clean is if you scrub it
by pressing the whole weight of your body
against the grime that grips the glass
until it glimmers white as a country
devoid of people like us. We tell Mom to stay in and rest
but she refuses. Her hands can’t stay still,
which is why she planted the small garden
that she tends to every morning.
It is not about the vegetables. The dirt is dry and futile
and the bed floods every June, leaving her no choice
but to start over again. First seed then dirt then rain then light.
Then, finally, a small sprig that keeps her
hopeful, in prayer of new blooms. Today, when she walks out
to the garden in her muumuu, hair knotted
and unkempt, and submits her brown knees
to brown dirt under the undying heat
like a saint at the foot of an altar,
I watch the man in the truck watch her
the way a predator watches a small thing
it can trick, and feel like the young girl I was
once, kneeling beside her in a pew, asking God
to make some small miracle of our life.
Imagine a blessing like that now: Mom’s garden flush
with peppers, carrots, little crowns
of broccoli sprouting. The snake uncrushed.
The small root she unknots from the earth
the only thing plucked from this home.
O God, if you do nothing else, cover me
in just a crumb of the courage
Mom maintains standing in her yard
in the beautiful conflagration of this country:
one brown hand holding a small gift the soil has given,
the other waving at the officer as if to say,
You are welcome. Come inside and eat.

有些午后就是这样——佛罗里达的光线昏沉沉的,悬在一只秃鹫的黑色翅膀之间,它正在我们家门外的马路上撕扯一条花园蛇。我们家门外的马路上,一名移民与海关执法局(ICE)探员像一只盘旋的鸟一样巡视着我们的街区,那种盘旋意味着死亡就在附近。一切其实没什么改变。妈妈仍然信不过洗碗机,她觉得盘子要洗干净,唯一的办法就是把整个身体的重量压上去,用力擦掉紧紧附着在玻璃上的污垢,直到它白得发亮,像一个没有我们这种人的国度。我们让妈妈待在家里休息,她不肯。她的手闲不下来,所以才开辟了那片小菜园,每天早晨都去打理。这跟蔬菜本身无关。泥土干涸贫瘠,每到六月,菜畦就会被水淹没,她别无选择,只能从头再来。先是种子,然后是泥土,然后是雨水,然后是阳光。最后,终于冒出一根小小的嫩枝,让她始终怀着希望,祈祷新的花朵绽放。今天,她穿着穆穆袍走到菜园里,头发打着结,乱蓬蓬的,在永不消退的酷热中,把自己棕色的膝盖交付给棕色的泥土,就像一位圣徒跪在祭坛脚下。我看着卡车里的那个男人注视着她,就像一头捕食者注视着一个可以轻易诱骗的小东西,那一刻,我觉得自己又变回了那个曾经的小女孩,跪在她身旁的教堂长椅上,祈求上帝为我们的人生创造一个小小的奇迹。想象一下此刻能有那样的恩赐:妈妈的菜园里长满了辣椒、胡萝卜,一簇簇西兰花像小王冠一样冒出来。那条蛇没有被碾碎。她从泥土里解开的那一小截根须,是这个家里唯一被拔走的东西。上帝啊,如果你什么都不做,就请赐给我一丁点妈妈站在院子里时所怀有的勇气吧,站在这片国土美丽的烈焰之中:一只棕色的手握着泥土赠予的一小份礼物,另一只手朝那位警官挥动,仿佛在说,欢迎你,进来吃点东西吧。

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