Hey, team, thanks so much for joining. Given everything that’s happening in the world right now, upper management has decided that we in middle management needed to create a space of support. And so, we have gathered here today, on Zoom, to support you, our hardworking teammates, in this brand-new meeting series we are calling “Team Support Space.”

It’s a lot out there right now. So many bad things are happening every day. It can be difficult not to succumb to fear, sloth, gluttony—take your pick! And let’s not forget hate. There’s so much hate—self-hatred included, believe me.

In that global context, community is vital. During times like these, we, your colleagues, are here for you. If you come away from this meeting with only one thing, make it this: No matter where you sit on the political spectrum or what your beliefs are, this organization welcomes and supports each and every one of you. We support you so much that we are specifically allocating valuable company time to do so.

Before I open it up to you all for sharing and receiving support, I want to lay down some ground rules and guidelines. These are being set forth by both middle management and the employee-experience department, formerly known by the dehumanizing moniker “human resources.” You are so much more than resources to be mined by this organization. All of us, at all levels of management, know and respect that. And, to that end, your employee-experience team and middle management have developed three simple frameworks to make the best use of this space and time.

First, in the interest of everyone’s psychological safety, in our discussion today, let’s not get too specific about our political stances. Or even which of the many challenges facing the world you are referring to during your share. Does your anxiety or stress have to do with the climate—political or environmental? Does it have to do with a war—literal or figurative, as in, “the war on X topic” or “the war in Z location”? Who can know? No one. We won’t know unless you tell us. So, don’t tell us.

The employee-experience team has kindly offered a list of phrases they have found helpful that you can leverage. These will be pinned in the chat and also sent in a follow-up e-mail. You can say “the state of the world today,” “the way things are,” “the moment we’re living in,” or simply, “the times.” Though I might strike that last one, actually. I wouldn’t want it to seem like you were mentioning a publication that may or may not have a particular political leaning. Regardless, you get my meaning. Strategic wording is mandatory in this discussion and sharing space today. The first principle of the team support space is: Vague Is Virtuous. It’s for everyone’s protection that we advise this.

But for our time here to be well spent, you must allow your feelings to surface. That is how healing happens. Too many of our best and brightest have been overheard crying in bathroom stalls or have abruptly gone off-camera in the middle of a meeting, clearly overwhelmed. It’s not good for anyone. Not for you or for upper and middle management. Bringing your whole selves to work means bringing a truckload of emotions. We have accepted this. There are the emotions we love, like your determination and your passion. But also the pesky ones, like your terror and your existential dread. We want this space to be one where all of you can express and process your unproductive emotions. And, to be clear, we want you to do it together, in one hyperconcentrated period of time.

Yes, spaces like this can be awkward. You may be apprehensive about expressing your feelings in front of each other at a pre-scheduled bi-monthly get-together. But to help you overcome those anxieties, keep in mind Principle No. 2: Emote When Efficient. We know that you all deeply value efficiency—it being one of the founding values approved by our board of directors. So, when in doubt, close your eyes, take a deep breath, think of the board, and express yourself. This is the place to do that in the most efficient and effective way possible. The employee-experience team is here for you. Please let it all out now and not later.

Our third principle is crucial. While this organization has its flaws and has no doubt contributed to your mental decline in various ways, that is not what this space is for. I am preëmpting any potential tangent about organizational issues because they’re real. I myself have certainly felt frustrated with this place, even as recently as five minutes before I kicked off this meeting. I get it. But hear me when I say that this space does not have the capacity for repair conversations. Please see the employee-efficiency team if you would like to schedule an organizational-issue-repair conversation, as those are best done in private and not in the team support space. Hence Principle No. 3: Repair Elsewhere.

Of course, this meeting is entirely optional. Or perhaps it’s not, depending on your most recent performance evaluation. Let me look into that. For now, let’s get started! Given that this session was scheduled for fifteen minutes, we now have about five minutes left for sharing. Unless you’d like me to give you some time back. Actually, scratch that. Even if no one is ready to share, we can still hold this space for each other in silent support.

Alright, team, let’s do this! Who’d like to kick us off? ♦