Shouts & Murmurs

How to Break Up with Your Phone

如何与你的手机分手

February 5, 2026

Woman sleeping next to her phone looking at her phone while eating and sitting up in bed looking at her phone.

You wake up together, you eat together, you sleep together. Sometimes you shower together. You know that it’s no longer love, exactly, but you’re too deeply entangled to leave. He knows your rhythms, your insecurities, your REM cycle—your cycle. He’s made himself needed, and now you don’t exist without one another.

你们一同醒来，一同用餐，一同入眠。偶尔还会共浴。你心里明白这已不再是爱情，却因羁绊太深而无法抽身。他熟悉你的生活节律，你的不安时刻，你的快速眼动睡眠周期——还有你的生理周期。他让自己成为必需品，如今你们已无法脱离彼此而存在。

Pro: He knows all your passwords.
Con: He knows all your passwords.
Pro: He tells you nice things about yourself, such as “You walked eight thousand steps today!”
Con: He also knows when you’ve failed. (“Yesterday, you didn’t meet your step goal.”)
Pro: He knows your taste in memes better than anyone.
Con: He may be using memes to manipulate your taste and desires.

优点：他知道你所有的密码。缺点：他知道你所有的密码。优点：他会对你说些好话，比如"你今天走了八千步！"缺点：他也知道你何时未能达标。（"昨天你没完成步数目标。"）优点：他比任何人都更懂你的表情包品味。缺点：他可能正用表情包操纵你的品味与欲望。

Woman reading a book in bed her phone is on a table in another room.

Maybe you don’t have to break up outright. What if it all could be solved by becoming less codependent, and letting each other cool down a bit? Maybe you decide to not sleep together every night. For a while, you feel better—light, clearheaded, cool, vaguely French. You start bringing books to bed.

或许不必彻底分手。如果减少依赖，让彼此都冷静一下，问题就能解决呢？你们决定不再每晚同床共枕。有那么一阵子，你感觉好多了——轻松、清醒、冷静，隐约带着点法式情调。你开始带书上床。

You leave him at home one day, to prove that you can live without him. You feel so good that you can’t wait to tell your friends that you’ve finally dumped him. But how would you even do that? You take a wrong turn and spend forty minutes trying to get home.

有天你把他独自留在家中，只为证明没有他你也能活。你感觉如此畅快，迫不及待想告诉朋友们终于甩掉了他。可该怎么开口呢？你拐错一个弯，花了四十分钟才找到回家的路。

Phone screen displaying a keyboard and a smiley face with heart eyes.

He reminds you that it’s your grandma’s birthday. He’s not that bad. He’s just . . . Type A. Not controlling, just a planner. He keeps your secrets, your credit-card info, your heart rate. You complete each other’s sentences.

他提醒你今天是奶奶的生日。他没那么糟。他只是……A型人格。不是控制狂，只是个计划者。他保管你的秘密、信用卡信息、心率数据。你们能接上彼此未说完的话。

Phone holding a fishing rod with phone bait to entice woman.

One night, you reach out, “just to set an alarm.” Next thing you know, you’ve spent seventeen hours watching strangers renovate their kitchens. He swears that he’s changed: “I’ll go on Focus Mode. You can make the apps gray. You can set limits on Instagram. I want what’s best for you!” Then he buzzes with a notification. You take the bait. You always take the bait.

某天夜里，你伸手触碰他，"只是想设个闹钟"。转眼间，你已花了十七个小时观看陌生人改造厨房。他信誓旦旦地说自己变了："我会开启专注模式。你可以把应用调成灰色。你可以给Instagram设限。我只想给你最好的！"接着他因一条通知嗡嗡震动。你上钩了。你总是会上钩。

You think about everything he’s seen—your face first thing in the morning, your search history, that draft message you didn’t send. You try to remember life before him. It’s awful. You’d be lost without him (again). You miss him at night.

你想想他见证过的一切——你清晨初醒的面容，你的搜索记录，那条你写了又没发出的草稿信息。你试图回忆有他之前的生活。简直不堪回首。没有他，你又会迷失方向。夜里，你思念他。

You stop pretending that you can quit. You put him on “Do Not Disturb,” which feels like a healthy-ish compromise. He buzzes anyway—softly, almost tenderly. You pick him up. He illuminates your face, from below. You look awful from this angle. He loves you anyway.

你不再假装自己能戒掉。你把他设为"勿扰模式"，这感觉像是个还算健康的折中方案。他依然嗡嗡作响——轻柔地，近乎温柔地。你把他捧起来。他从下方照亮你的脸。从这个角度看，你糟透了。即便如此，他依然爱你。

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