American Chronicles

A Woman Lost Two Partners to Guns—Then the N.R.A. Came to Collect

一个女人因枪支失去了两位伴侣——随后,全国步枪协会找上门来讨债
The majority of suicides in the U.S. involve guns, and eighty per cent of those are done by white men, a pattern that the gun-rights organization has spent decades denying.
在美国,大多数自杀案都涉及枪支,其中八成是白人男性。几十年来,拥枪权利组织一直否认这一模式的存在。
Two people posing for a photograph.
Photographs by Logan White for The New Yorker

Stormy Kay was born in 1961, when her parents were young newlyweds, unprepared and thrust into adulthood. Stormy’s mother cut meat at a grocery store and taught classes at a beauty school, and her father was a construction worker. They couldn’t afford child care, so Stormy’s father took her with him to job sites. “My dad would hide me in the trucks,” Stormy told me. She spent a lot of time alone. “I was strange,” she said. “I liked rocks. I was very spiritual. I talked to animals. I talked a lot to God.” Every Sunday, her entire extended family attended church, and Stormy sang in the choir. Like many men in Frederick County, Maryland, where the family lived, Stormy’s father owned guns and went hunting. Her mother had a firearm, too, and occasionally took Stormy target shooting. When Stormy finished high school, she began commuting to a job at an insurance company in Washington, D.C. She started in human resources, then became a legal secretary there. She wore her curly brown hair down to her shoulders, with bangs that framed her blue eyes.

斯托米·凯(Stormy Kay)生于1961年,那时她的父母还是一对年轻的新婚夫妇,毫无准备就被推入了成人世界。斯托米的母亲在一家杂货店切肉,同时在美容学校教课,父亲则是建筑工人。他们请不起人照看孩子,父亲只好把斯托米带去工地。「我爸会把我藏在卡车里,」斯托米告诉我。她独自度过了许多时光。「我这个人挺怪的,」她说,「我喜欢石头,特别注重精神世界。我跟动物说话,也经常跟上帝说话。」每个周日,整个大家族都会去教堂做礼拜,斯托米在唱诗班唱歌。他们一家住在马里兰州弗雷德里克县,和当地许多男人一样,斯托米的父亲拥有枪支,会去打猎。她母亲也有一把枪,偶尔会带斯托米去练习射击。高中毕业后,斯托米开始通勤去华盛顿特区的一家保险公司上班。她先是在人力资源部工作,后来成了那里的法律秘书。她一头棕色卷发垂到肩膀,刘海下是一双蓝眼睛。

In her early twenties, she met Barry Morse, who was seven years older. He was Italian and Jewish, tall and handsome, clever and enterprising. He had skipped college and now worked for his father, who owned a McDonald’s franchise. Morse was married, but the relationship was breaking up. “As soon as I met him, a voice in my head said, ‘You will marry him,’ ” Stormy told me. “The voice of God. I know that sounds weird, but it was instant.”

二十岁出头时,她遇见了比她大七岁的巴里·莫尔斯(Barry Morse)。他是意大利裔犹太人,高大英俊,聪明又有闯劲。他没上过大学,在父亲开的麦当劳加盟店里做事。莫尔斯当时已婚,但婚姻正走向破裂。「一见到他,脑子里就有个声音说,『你会嫁给他』,」斯托米告诉我,「那是上帝的声音。我知道听起来很怪,但就是一瞬间的事。」

Morse owned dozens of guns, and when he handled money for the family business he carried a firearm, even though he didn’t have a permit to do so. On Christmas Eve in 1984, while Morse was still married, he and Stormy smoked a little weed, and then he turned to her and proposed. “Barry said, ‘You know, we’re really good together,’ ” Stormy recalled. She agreed and said yes. Morse partied on the weekends and had bipolar disorder, but this did not especially trouble Stormy. A couple of months after they got engaged, Morse was arrested. He was later convicted of cocaine possession, intent to distribute marijuana, and carrying a concealed weapon. He was sentenced to thirty-four months in prison. That spring, while locked up, he finalized his divorce. On June 6, 1985, he and Stormy were married at the Frederick County Adult Detention Center. Morse told a reporter who covered the event for the Frederick News-Post, “She’ll be waiting for me at the gate when I walk out.”

莫尔斯拥有几十把枪,为家族生意经手钱款时,即使没有持枪许可,他也会随身带枪。1984年圣诞前夜,莫尔斯还没离婚,他和斯托米抽了点大麻,然后转向她求婚。「巴里说,『你知道吗,我们在一起真的很合拍。』」斯托米回忆道。她同意了,说了「我愿意」。莫尔斯周末喜欢派对,还患有双相情感障碍,但这并没让斯托米特别困扰。他们订婚几个月后,莫尔斯被捕了。后来他被判持有可卡因、意图分销大麻和携带隐蔽武器等罪名成立,获刑三十四个月。那年春天,在押期间,他办完了离婚手续。1985年6月6日,他和斯托米在弗雷德里克县成人拘留中心结了婚。莫尔斯对前来报道此事的《弗雷德里克新闻邮报》记者说:「我走出大门的时候,她会在门口等我。」

In 1988, Stormy gave birth to a boy the couple named Myles. She stayed at home while Morse tried his hand at different businesses, including owning a video store and producing country music.

1988年,斯托米生下一个男孩,夫妻俩给他取名迈尔斯。她在家带孩子,莫尔斯则尝试了各种生意,开过录像带出租店,也制作过乡村音乐。

Morse frequently had outbursts of rage, and Stormy said that he abused her. One time, he slammed the butt of a pellet rifle on her foot and broke her toe; another time, he threw a glass that hit her in the head. When such episodes were over, Morse would cry, beg for forgiveness, and buy Stormy gold rings and necklaces.

莫尔斯经常暴怒,斯托米说他虐待她。有一次,他用气枪枪托猛砸她的脚,砸断了脚趾;还有一次,他扔出一个玻璃杯,砸中了她的头。每次发作过后,莫尔斯都会哭泣、乞求原谅,然后给斯托米买金戒指和金项链。

If you are having thoughts of suicide, call or text 988 or chat at 988Lifeline.org.

如果你有自杀的想法,请拨打或发送短信至 988,或访问 988Lifeline.org 进行在线聊天。

Law enforcement had taken Morse’s weapons, and, as a felon, he was prohibited from owning a firearm, but he got Stormy to purchase a .38 Special revolver for him. She was reluctant to get him the gun, but was worried that he’d get in trouble if he tried to buy one himself. Firearms were a part of Morse’s identity, a characteristic no different from his love of country music. “He just always wanted a gun,” Stormy said. “He was just one of those guys.”

执法部门没收了莫尔斯的武器,而且作为重罪犯,他被禁止持有枪支。但他让斯托米替他买了一支.38口径特种左轮手枪。她本不想帮他买枪,但又担心如果他自己去买会惹上麻烦。枪支是莫尔斯身份认同的一部分,这和他对乡村音乐的热爱没什么两样。“他就是一直想要一把枪,”斯托米说,“他就是那种人。”

Early one morning, in June, 1991, Stormy was padding around their home in her pajamas. She went into the bathroom, while Myles, almost three, was in the hallway, and Morse was around a corner. He picked up the revolver, and Stormy heard it go off. She ran to him. “I smelled the gun, and saw him physically just hit the ground,” she said. Part of Morse’s head appeared to be gone. Without thinking, Stormy scooped up Myles and ran to a neighbor’s house. “I’m banging on the door,” she told me. “And when she opens it, I threw Myles into her hands and said, ‘Barry accidentally shot himself.’ ”

一九九一年六月,一天清晨,斯托米(Stormy)穿着睡衣在家里踱步。她走进浴室,快三岁的迈尔斯(Myles)在走廊里,莫尔斯(Morse)在拐角那边。他拿起了左轮手枪,斯托米听到了枪响。她冲向他。「我闻到了火药味,眼睁睁看着他倒在地上,」她说。莫尔斯的头似乎缺了一块。斯托米想都没想,一把抱起迈尔斯,跑到邻居家。「我使劲砸门,」她告诉我,「她一开门,我就把迈尔斯塞进她怀里,说:『巴里不小心开枪打中了自己。』」

Stormy called an ambulance, then crouched beside Morse. “I said a prayer over his body,” she recalled. “I said, ‘God have mercy on his soul.’ And then, all of a sudden, lights flickered down, and I had this hand on my shoulder. A heavy voice said, ‘He’s with me.’ ” The paramedics arrived, and Stormy watched her husband get zipped into a body bag. At that moment, a repossession agent showed up. He told her that he was looking for Morse, who, unbeknownst to Stormy, was in debt. The paramedics were in the process of moving the body, so she told the man, “He’s coming down the steps.”

斯托米叫了救护车,然后蹲在莫尔斯身边。「我在他身体上方做了祷告,」她回忆道,「我说,『上帝怜悯他的灵魂吧。』然后,突然间,灯光暗了下来,有一只手搭在我肩上。一个低沉的声音说:『他与我同在。』」急救人员赶到,斯托米眼睁睁看着丈夫被装进尸袋。就在这时,一名收回抵押品的代理人出现了。他告诉斯托米,他是来找莫尔斯的——斯托米此前毫不知情,莫尔斯欠了债。急救人员正把尸体往外搬,她便对那人说:「他正从楼梯上下来。」

The repo man took the family car, leaving Stormy and Myles stranded. She called her mother, who drove over and retrieved them. Stormy felt that God had signalled that Morse’s soul was safe, and that she and her son would find a way forward.

收车人开走了家里的车,斯托米和迈尔斯被困在原地。她打电话给母亲,母亲开车过来接走了他们。斯托米觉得,这是上帝在示意,莫尔斯的灵魂已经安息,而她和儿子会找到前行的路。

According to a federal-data analysis by Cassandra Crifasi, an epidemiologist at Johns Hopkins University, 30,810 Americans died by suicide in 1991; sixty per cent of those incidents involved a firearm. Eighty per cent of those who shot themselves were white men, which is not surprising, since white men accounted for about two-thirds of gun owners in the United States.

约翰斯·霍普金斯大学流行病学家卡桑德拉·克里法西(Cassandra Crifasi)的联邦数据分析显示,1991年全美共有30810人死于自杀,其中六成涉及枪支。饮弹自尽者中八成是白人男性,这并不意外——当时美国约三分之二的枪支拥有者正是这个群体。

A year later, The New England Journal of Medicine published a study that linked the ready availability of firearms to an increased risk of suicide. The finding came at a sensitive moment for the National Rifle Association, the country’s leading gun-rights group. Violent crime, often involving guns, was surging across the country. Gang-related shootings seemed ubiquitous, and there were also sporadic mass shootings, including a notorious 1989 incident in Stockton, California, in which a man carrying an assault rifle opened fire at an elementary-school playground, killing five children. Democratic lawmakers were in the process of passing bills that would establish a background-check system and an assault-weapons ban, and the N.R.A.’s membership had dropped from more than three million, in the mid-eighties, to less than 2.5 million.

一年后,《新英格兰医学杂志》(The New England Journal of Medicine)发表了一项研究,指出枪支的易得性与自杀风险升高之间存在关联。这个结论出炉的时机,对全美最大的持枪权组织——全国步枪协会(National Rifle Association)来说,相当敏感。当时,常涉及枪支的暴力犯罪正在全美各地激增。帮派枪击案似乎无处不在,大规模枪击事件也时有发生,其中就包括1989年加州斯托克顿那起臭名昭著的惨案:一名男子持突击步枪闯入一所小学操场开枪扫射,造成五名儿童死亡。民主党议员们正在推动一系列法案,准备建立背景审查制度并禁止突击步枪。而全国步枪协会的会员数量,已从八十年代中期的三百多万,跌到了不足两百五十万。

Surveys of civilian gun owners showed that they mostly kept weapons for hunting; firearms were tools of leisure and sustenance. To grow, the N.R.A. needed to position the weapon more as a symbol of cultural defiance. Its messaging increasingly played up notions that the government was tyrannical, seeking to disarm law-abiding Americans and willing to kill those who refused to comply. The N.R.A. found common cause with anti-government conspiracy theorists at Ruby Ridge and religious extremists at Waco, and referred to law-enforcement officials as “jack-booted government thugs.” It mounted a campaign to restrict the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, which funded The New England Journal’s suicide study, from underwriting gun research. The N.R.A.’s research coördinator asserted, “Worldwide, nationwide, regionally there is no relationship between gun availability and suicide rates.”

对平民持枪者的调查显示,他们大多是为了打猎才保留枪支——武器不过是消遣和谋生的工具。为了壮大势力,全美步枪协会需要将枪支重新包装成一种文化抗争的象征。它的宣传越来越渲染这样的论调:政府是暴虐的,企图解除守法美国人的武装,甚至不惜杀死那些拒绝服从的人。全美步枪协会与红宝石岭的反政府阴谋论者、韦科镇的宗教极端分子找到了共同目标,并将执法人员称为“穿军靴的政府暴徒”。它发起了一场运动,限制美国疾病控制与预防中心(该机构资助了《新英格兰医学杂志》的自杀研究)为枪支研究提供资金。全美步枪协会的研究协调员断言:“无论是全球范围、全国范围还是地区范围,枪支可得性与自杀率之间都没有任何关联。”

These public debates didn’t register with Stormy, even after Morse’s death was ruled a suicide. She and Myles had moved in with her parents. She gave her full attention to her son, who was in distress. He wasn’t interested in interacting with other kids, and he rarely spoke. When his grandfather gave him watercolors, he used the brush on his face, coloring it red, as if re-creating the last image of his father.

这些公共讨论并未引起斯托米的注意,即便在莫尔斯的死被裁定为自杀之后。她和迈尔斯已经搬去与父母同住。她把全部精力都放在了儿子身上,孩子正深陷痛苦。他对和其他孩子互动毫无兴趣,也很少开口说话。外公给他水彩颜料,他却把画笔往自己脸上涂,抹成红色,仿佛在重现父亲最后的模样。
A person holding a photograph.
Stormy holds a photograph of her, Myles, and Barry Morse. Morse’s ashes are in a box in the background.
斯托米拿着她、迈尔斯和巴里·莫尔斯的合影。莫尔斯的骨灰放在背景中的一个盒子里。

Stormy thought Myles was too young for therapy, so she looked for hobbies that might help him engage with the world. When Myles was about five, she noticed that he loved riding on her father’s A.T.V., so she enrolled him in a racing program for children, in which he rode a four-wheeler around a dirt track. “Motorsport opened me back up,” Myles told me recently. “Racing became therapy for me.”

斯托米觉得迈尔斯年纪太小,不适合接受心理治疗,于是想找些爱好,帮他重新融入这个世界。迈尔斯五岁左右时,她发现他特别喜欢坐外公的全地形车,就给他报了个儿童赛车班。小家伙开着四轮摩托,在土路上兜圈子。「赛车让我重新打开了心扉,」迈尔斯最近告诉我,「它成了我的疗愈方式。」

By the time Myles was six, he was at the track so often that his four-wheeler began to break down. The vehicle required a special bearing, and the only place to buy it nearby was a machine-parts shop called Applied Industrial Technologies. When Stormy and Myles went there, a man named Lewis Tabler helped them. He was in his late thirties, short and wide, with an olive complexion, a neat beard, and a receding hairline. Tabler spent two hours searching for the bearing, and Stormy was impressed by his patience. Tabler ended up ordering the part, and when Stormy’s father came to pick it up Tabler asked for permission to call his daughter.

迈尔斯六岁时,已经频繁出入赛道,那辆四轮越野车终于撑不住了。车子需要一种特殊的轴承,附近唯一能买到的地方,是一家叫「应用工业技术」的机械零件店。斯托米带着迈尔斯去的时候,一个名叫刘易斯·塔布勒的男人接待了他们。他三十八九岁,矮壮身材,橄榄色皮肤,胡须修剪得整整齐齐,发际线已经后退。塔布勒花了整整两个小时翻找那个轴承,斯托米被他的耐心打动了。最后塔布勒订了货,等斯托米的父亲来取零件时,塔布勒开口请求,能不能给他女儿打个电话。

Tabler seemed responsible and kind, but also tough and fun. He had a number of tattoos: a cobra, a burning phoenix, a snake wrapped around a sword, and, on his backside, the Rolling Stones’ tongue-and-lips logo. Tabler was a Republican and a member of the N.R.A. who owned multiple guns, but he rarely discussed politics. Hunting was his passion, and he gave Stormy the impression that his firearms were merely a means to that end, just as they had been for the men in her family. Still, after Morse, she had concerns. “I did question Lew about his guns,” Stormy recalled. “But he kept telling me he was safe.”

泰布勒看起来既可靠又善良,同时也很强悍、有趣。他身上有好几处纹身:一条眼镜蛇、一只燃烧的凤凰、一条缠绕着剑的蛇,臀部还纹着滚石乐队那个舌头与嘴唇的标志。泰布勒是共和党人,也是全国步枪协会的成员,拥有多把枪支,但他很少谈论政治。打猎是他的挚爱,他给斯托米留下的印象是,枪支不过是实现这一爱好的工具,就像她家里那些男人一样。不过,经历了莫尔斯的事之后,她还是有些顾虑。“我确实问过卢关于他那些枪的事,”斯托米回忆道,“但他一直跟我说他很注意安全。”

Tabler told Stormy that he had left home at eighteen and never returned, and he avoided talking about his family. All Stormy knew was that his father’s heart had failed early, and Tabler had developed heart disease, too.

泰布勒告诉斯托米,他十八岁离家,再没回去过,也从不提家里的事。斯托米只知道他父亲很早就因心脏衰竭去世,而泰布勒自己也患上了心脏病。

Tabler, Stormy, and Myles became a family. Stormy had a Yorkshire terrier Tabler called Toad, and the dog became his close companion. He took Stormy and Myles to restaurants, movies, concerts, and the Smithsonian. He went to Myles’s races and bonded with him over Nascar and baseball. For a while, Tabler coached third base for Myles’s Little League team. He also took him fishing and target shooting. “He was essentially my father,” Myles recalled.

泰布勒、斯托米和迈尔斯成了一家人。斯托米养了一只约克夏㹴,泰布勒管它叫“蟾蜍”,这狗后来成了他形影不离的伙伴。他带斯托米和迈尔斯下馆子、看电影、听音乐会,还去史密森尼博物馆。他会去看迈尔斯的比赛,两人因为纳斯卡赛车和棒球越走越近。有一阵子,泰布勒还在迈尔斯的小联盟球队当三垒教练。他也带他去钓鱼、练靶。“他基本上就是我父亲,”迈尔斯回忆说。

Earlier in Tabler and Stormy’s relationship, Tabler had told her that he’d been married once before, but that the relationship ended when his wife ran off with his best friend. Tabler wrote Stormy a letter laying bare his feelings and insecurities. “When I first met you I knew you were the one very special woman that I could want, love, respect and desire for the rest of my life,” he wrote. “I’m not sure how I knew it but it was as clear as your blue eyes. You have changed me, changed my entire outlook on life. I am totally committed to you and everything I do and say and the way I am with you is due to the love I feel for you.” Tabler went on, “I want you to be my wife one day. I think we have something very special that can last forever but I need to know I’m the only man you want or it will never work.”

在泰布勒和斯托米交往初期,泰布勒曾告诉她,自己有过一段婚姻,但妻子跟他最好的朋友跑了,婚姻就此终结。泰布勒给斯托米写过一封信,袒露了自己的感情和不安。「第一次见到你,我就知道,你就是那个我余生都渴望、爱慕、尊重和向往的特别女人,」他写道,「我不确定自己是怎么知道的,但那种感觉就像你湛蓝的眼睛一样清晰。你改变了我,改变了我对人生的整个看法。我完全忠于你,我所有的言行举止、和你相处的方式,都源于我对你的爱。」泰布勒接着写道,「我希望有一天你能成为我的妻子。我觉得我们之间有一种非常特别的东西,可以持续到永远,但我需要知道,我是你唯一想要的男人,否则这一切都不会长久。」

The couple discussed marriage, but Stormy wanted to keep the last name Morse, to match her son. Then Tabler informed her that they didn’t have to get married at all, because if they stayed together they would be considered married in the eyes of the law. “He said, ‘I’ll take care of you, you take care of me, and I’ll leave you everything,’ ” Stormy told me. A marriage license, he told her, was “just a piece of paper.” She didn’t know that a couple can’t enter into a common-law marriage in the state of Maryland.

两人曾谈过结婚的事,但斯托米想保留莫尔斯这个姓,好跟儿子一致。后来泰布勒告诉她,他们根本不用结婚——只要一直在一起,法律上就会视他们为夫妻。「他说,『我照顾你,你照顾我,我的一切都留给你。』」斯托米对我说。他还告诉她,结婚证「不过是一张纸」。她不知道,在马里兰州,伴侣之间并不能形成事实婚姻。
Two giraffes ask real estate agent about lions.
“Let’s cut to the chase. Are there any lions in the building?”
“咱们直说吧。这楼里有狮子吗?”
Cartoon by Lonnie Millsap
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In 1997, Stormy used funds she’d received from Morse’s life insurance to place a down payment on a home in Hagerstown, a rural part of Maryland. Tabler, Stormy said, did not have any savings to contribute, but that was fine by her. Something good should come from Morse’s death, and the house was quaint, with a large domed skylight and a wooden footbridge that led to the front door.

1997年,史多米用莫尔斯人寿保险赔付的钱,在马里兰州乡下的黑格斯敦付了一套房子的首付。史多米说,泰布勒没有任何积蓄可以分担,但她并不介意。莫尔斯的死总该换来点什么好的,而这栋房子很别致,有一个巨大的穹顶天窗,一座木栈桥通向正门。

Stormy and Tabler both signed the mortgage documents, and then, on the same day, signed an agreement they’d drawn up together. It contained twelve vows, including “I know I need to change some, but it must be my decision to change”; “I don’t want to be bossed around, I’ll try not to boss you, either”; and “I will try to be as honest with you as I can and be the kind of person you can count on.” The last vow read, “When I open up and tell you about my feelings, sometimes it will be like handing you a little baby bird—please hold and handle with care.”

斯托米和泰布勒双双签完按揭文件,当天又签了一份两人共同拟定的协议。里面列了十二条誓言,包括:“我知道自己需要改变一些,但改不改得由我自己决定”;“我不想被人呼来喝去,也会尽量不对你指手画脚”;还有“我会尽最大努力对你坦诚,做一个你可以依靠的人”。最后一条誓言写道:“当我敞开心扉,向你诉说感受的时候,有时就像把一只雏鸟交到你手上——请小心捧着,温柔以待。”

The couple agreed that Tabler would earn their living while Stormy handled what she called “the woman stuff.” She cooked, cleaned, did laundry, and maintained their two acres of property. Tabler also needed help managing his heart condition, and required near-constant reassurance that Stormy was devoted to him. This insecurity, which Stormy attributed to his first marriage, soon became possessiveness, and her relationships with her family and friends gradually withered.

夫妻俩商定,由泰布勒负责赚钱养家,斯托米则操持她口中的「女人家的事」。她做饭、打扫、洗衣,打理着两人那两英亩的宅地。泰布勒还需要她帮忙照看自己的心脏病,几乎时刻需要斯托米向他保证自己对他一心一意。这种不安感——斯托米认为源于他的第一段婚姻——很快演变成了占有欲,她与家人朋友的关系也渐渐枯萎了。

Tabler also became critical of Myles, whose presence seemed to irk him. Myles was skinny and, like his dad, had a prominent nose and dark features. As a teen-ager, he learned to skateboard and play the guitar. He sometimes got into trouble at school, but generally kept to himself. Tabler picked fights with him about chores. He was “just physically aggressive and in your face,” Myles said. “Trying to start an argument.” When Stormy wasn’t around and things escalated, Myles said, Tabler would hit him, either with a belt or with his fists.

泰布勒也开始对迈尔斯百般挑剔,这个孩子的存在似乎让他很不痛快。迈尔斯身材瘦削,和父亲一样长着高挺的鼻子,肤色偏深。十几岁时,他学会了滑板和吉他。他在学校偶尔惹事,但大多数时候都独来独往。泰布勒总为家务活找他麻烦。迈尔斯说,他「就是动手动脚,咄咄逼人,存心找茬吵架」。斯托米不在场、事态升级时,泰布勒就会打他,有时用皮带,有时直接用拳头。

In Stormy’s opinion, men were inherently violent. Once, when she and Tabler got into an argument, he shoved her. Myles, who was fifteen or sixteen, came to her defense. Stormy decided to let them fight. “I figured they just needed to get it over with,” she said. And, after surviving one traumatic relationship, Stormy said, she was trying to avoid more upheaval. Besides, she loved Tabler, and believed that he loved her, too. But the rift between him and Myles widened. After Myles graduated high school, in 2006, he moved out. He stayed with his grandparents and worked at Quiznos, and then at a movie theatre. Eventually, he got into car detailing.

在斯托米看来,男人天生就有暴力倾向。有一次,她和塔布勒吵架,他推了她一把。十五六岁的迈尔斯冲上来护着她。斯托米决定让他们打一架。「我觉得他们就是得打一场才能了事,」她说。经历过一段创伤关系之后,斯托米说她不想再折腾了。况且,她爱塔布勒,也相信塔布勒同样爱她。但他和迈尔斯之间的裂痕越来越深。2006年,迈尔斯高中毕业后就搬了出去。他先是在祖父母家住,在Quiznos三明治店打工,后来又去了一家电影院。最后,他干起了汽车美容。

Tabler’s clogged arteries kept death on his mind. He took numerous daily medications and was in and out of the Johns Hopkins Hospital, in Baltimore, where doctors inserted multiple stents. Before every surgery, he shaved his forearms in preparation for I.V.s, and then drove to Applied Industrial, where a colleague would take him to the hospital, about an hour away. He didn’t want Stormy to drive him; it made him anxious.

塔布勒(Tabler)的动脉堵塞严重,死亡的阴影始终笼罩着他。他每天要吃一大堆药,频繁出入巴尔的摩的约翰·霍普金斯医院,医生在他体内植入了多根支架。每次手术前,他都会刮干净前臂的汗毛,为静脉注射做准备,然后开车到应用工业公司,再由同事送他去大约一小时车程外的医院。他不让斯托米(Stormy)开车送他,那会让他紧张。
A hole in a door
In Tabler’s final confrontation with Myles, he kicked a hole in a bathroom door. Fifteen years later, it hasn’t been repaired.
在塔布勒与迈尔斯的最后一次对峙中,他一脚把浴室门踢出了一个洞。十五年后,这个洞仍未修补。

In 2007, Tabler made Stormy the sole beneficiary of his life-insurance policy and his retirement account. He named her the executor of his estate, and, in his will, he said that he wanted to be cremated. A portion of his ashes, he wrote, should be scattered in the Blackwater National Wildlife Refuge, a nature preserve on Maryland’s Eastern Shore that is a destination for hunters. The rest would stay with Stormy.

2007年,泰布勒将斯多米指定为自己寿险保单和退休账户的唯一受益人,并让她担任遗产执行人。他在遗嘱中写道,希望死后火化,部分骨灰撒在黑水国家野生动物保护区——那是马里兰州东海岸一处自然保护区,也是猎人们常去的地方。剩下的骨灰,就留给斯多米。

The next year, Barack Obama ran for President, signalling the potential end of a government that, under George W. Bush, had been friendly to the N.R.A. During Bush’s two terms, Republicans in Congress had allowed the federal assault-weapons ban to lapse, and passed a bill that shielded the gun industry from many liability lawsuits. In almost every way, Obama appeared to be Bush’s opposite. He represented progressivism and multiculturalism, and he didn’t appear to understand gun culture. Gun manufacturers and the N.R.A. jointly launched a membership campaign called “Prepare for the Storm in 2008.”

第二年,贝拉克·奥巴马(Barack Obama)竞选总统,这预示着乔治·W·布什(George W. Bush)治下那个对全国步枪协会(N.R.A.)颇为友好的政府可能即将终结。布什执政八年期间,国会里的共和党人先是让联邦攻击性武器禁令到期失效,又通过了一项法案,让枪支行业在大量责任诉讼中免于追责。几乎从任何角度看,奥巴马都像是布什的反面。他代表进步主义和多元文化,而且看起来完全不懂枪支文化。枪支制造商和全国步枪协会联手发起了一场会员招募运动,口号是“备战2008年的风暴”。

Tabler was an avid reader of the N.R.A.’s publications, and took the organization’s assertions as gospel. The group began feeding its audience an endless supply of outrage. It spent fifteen million dollars to blanket the country with television, print, and radio ads declaring that Obama “would be the most anti-gun President in American history.” In flyers and mailers, and on a website called GunBanObama.com, the N.R.A. described Obama’s “10 Point Plan to ‘Change’ the Second Amendment.” The claims, which were false, included allegations that he intended to “ban the manufacture, sale and possession of handguns,” and the “use of firearms for home self-defense.”

泰布勒(Tabler)是N.R.A.刊物的忠实读者,对该组织的每一条主张都奉若真理。这个组织开始源源不断地向受众灌输愤怒情绪。它砸下一千五百万美元,用电视、平面和广播广告席卷全国,宣称奥巴马“将成为美国历史上最反枪支的总统”。通过传单、邮件和一个名为“GunBanObama.com”的网站,N.R.A.详细列出了奥巴马的“颠覆第二修正案十点计划”。这些指控纯属捏造,其中包括声称他意图“禁止手枪的制造、销售和持有”,以及“禁止使用枪支进行家庭自卫”。

To many conservative, working-class white men, Obama’s ascendance was a sign that the social hierarchy had been reordered and that the future did not include them. The N.R.A. tapped into this sentiment. On the campaign trail, Obama had talked about how blue-collar men had been uniquely harmed by a convergence of economic and social changes, leading to a loss of status and of sense of self. As a result, Obama said, “they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren’t like them.” Though it was intended as an expression of sympathy, the language was coarse, and the N.R.A. exploited it. One prominent ad featured a hunter who said, “Because I believe in traditional American values, go to church, exercise my right to own a firearm, Barack Obama says I’m bitter. Well, I’m not bitter, I’m blessed.” The N.R.A. printed yard signs and T-shirts that read “I’m a ‘bitter’ gun owner and I vote.” Another ad included another hunter who asked, of Obama, “Where is this guy from?,” a nod to the conspiracy theory that Obama had been born in Africa.

对许多保守派、工薪阶层的白人男性来说,奥巴马的崛起意味着社会等级已被重新排序,未来不再有他们的位置。全美步枪协会(N.R.A.)精准捕捉到了这种情绪。竞选期间,奥巴马曾谈到,蓝领男性在经济与社会变革的双重冲击下遭受了格外沉重的打击,导致他们丧失了地位与自我认同。奥巴马说,正因如此,“他们变得愤懑,死死抓住枪支、宗教,或是对异己者的敌意不放。”这番话本意是表达同情,但措辞粗糙,被N.R.A.大加利用。一则颇具影响力的广告中,一位猎人说:“就因为我相信传统美国价值观、去教堂、行使持枪权,巴拉克·奥巴马就说我愤懑。听着,我不愤懑,我满怀感恩。”N.R.A.还印制了庭院标牌和T恤,上面写着“我是个‘愤懑’的持枪者,而且我投票”。另一则广告中,另一位猎人问起奥巴马:“这家伙到底从哪儿来的?”——这是在影射奥巴马生于非洲的阴谋论。

The N.R.A.’s campaign successfully rejuvenated the gun-rights movement, framing it as a fight against cultural erasure. Obama’s election led to a historic surge in firearm sales, and Tabler saw himself as part of this movement—a kind of resistance soldier. His response to the messaging seemed quick and stark. “Like the flip of a switch,” Myles said. He began referring to Democrats as fascists and Obama as a “common nigger.” He fretted about the prospect of the government confiscating his guns. Tabler told Stormy, “If they come for mine, I’m shooting out of the window.” He added, “You’ll be reloading for me.”

全国步枪协会(N.R.A.)的宣传攻势成功复兴了持枪权运动,将其塑造成一场对抗文化抹除的斗争。奥巴马的当选引发了历史性的枪支抢购潮,泰伯勒也把自己视为这场运动的一员——某种抵抗战士。他对这些信息的反应似乎迅速而剧烈。「就像拨动了一个开关,」迈尔斯说。他开始把民主党人称为法西斯分子,把奥巴马叫作「普通黑鬼」。他忧心忡忡,担心政府会没收他的枪支。泰伯勒告诉斯托米:「如果他们来收我的枪,我就从窗户往外开枪。」他又补了一句:「你就在旁边给我装弹。」

Tabler also talked about hiding in the woods of Camp David, the Presidential retreat, which was nearby; he could use one of his rifles to assassinate Obama. Killing the President, Tabler told the family, would make him an “American hero.” Myles said, “I saw him become unhinged.”

泰布勒还提到,他打算躲进附近的总统度假地戴维营(Camp David)的树林里,用他的一把步枪刺杀奥巴马。他告诉家人,杀了总统,自己就能成为“美国英雄”。迈尔斯说:“我眼看着他精神崩溃了。”

Tabler increasingly loathed his job. “I’d feel bad every morning,” Stormy said. “He would go out and say, ‘I’m going to a fucking job I don’t even like, doing stuff I don’t fucking even want to do.’ ” He banned Stormy’s family, including Myles, from the house. She had one good friend, whom she would sometimes visit while Tabler was at work. They hung out and smoked pot, which provided a respite from the tension. “It came down to—he wanted me home all of the time,” Stormy said. “He wanted me all to himself.”

泰布勒越来越厌恶自己的工作。「他每天早上心情都很糟,」斯托米说,「他会出门前说,『我又要去干那份该死的工作了,我压根不喜欢,做的全是我不想干的破事。』」他不准斯托米的娘家人上门,连迈尔斯也不例外。她只有一个好朋友,偶尔趁泰布勒上班时去对方家坐坐。两人待在一起抽大麻,这让她从紧绷的状态中暂时解脱出来。「说到底——他要我整天待在家里,」斯托米说,「他想把我完全据为己有。」

Myles bounced around various jobs and homes, and by 2010 he was living out of his car. One night, he didn’t have a safe place to park, and Stormy said he could come over. But, when he pulled into the driveway, Tabler came to the front door and screamed, “You need to leave now!” He raised a handgun and fired in Myles’s direction, hitting some rocks. Myles fled. Tabler told Stormy that he’d shot a plastic round, not a real bullet, but she felt he was using his guns as a means of control, and she was overwhelmed with thoughts that he would one day kill Myles.

迈尔斯辗转做过好几份工作,住的地方也换来换去。到2010年,他已经只能住在自己的车里。一天晚上,他找不到安全的停车地点,斯托米说可以来她家。可当他刚把车开进车道,泰布勒就冲到前门大喊:「你现在就得走!」他举起手枪朝迈尔斯的方向开了一枪,子弹打在石头上。迈尔斯逃走了。泰布勒对斯托米说,他打的是塑料弹头,不是真子弹。但斯托米觉得,他是在用枪作为一种控制手段,她满脑子都是他总有一天会杀了迈尔斯的念头。

Toad, the dog, had died, and Tabler had replaced him with two new Yorkshire terriers. He spoiled them with treats, but kept an inventory of all the food in the house to make sure that Stormy wasn’t secretly feeding Myles. Stormy worried that Myles would wind up on the street, so to pay for his car insurance she sold the gold jewelry that Morse had bought her.

狗陶德(Toad)死了,泰布勒又弄来两只新的约克夏㹴。他拿零食惯着它们,却把家里所有吃的都登记造册,生怕斯托米偷偷喂给迈尔斯。斯托米担心迈尔斯最后会流落街头,于是为了给他交车险,她卖掉了莫尔斯当年买给她的金首饰。

In 2011, Tabler began carrying a concealed handgun, though he didn’t have a permit. On several occasions, when he and Stormy were in the car together, he grew enraged and flashed the weapon at other drivers. He weighed more than two hundred and fifty pounds, and drank whiskey to ease his insomnia. His heart was packed with stents and a pacemaker. Surgical scars ran down his chest and inner thighs.

2011年,泰布勒(Tabler)开始随身携带一把隐藏式手枪,尽管他并没有持枪许可。有好几次,他和斯托米(Stormy)一起开车时,他暴怒起来,朝其他司机亮出武器。他体重超过两百五十磅,靠喝威士忌来缓解失眠。他的心脏里塞满了支架和一个起搏器,胸口和大腿内侧布满了手术疤痕。

Stormy remembered that sometimes, at night, Tabler would wake in a panic, grab a firearm, run to the front door, and check for intruders. He was scared to be alone in the house, and started tracking the odometer of Stormy’s car. One of his guns, a silver Taurus Judge revolver, had a laser sight. At home, he often held the loaded weapon and pointed the red dot at Stormy. “Because of Barry, I was used to having a gun in my face,” she said. “So I always told him, ‘If you accidentally shoot me, you’ll have to report it to 911.’ ”

斯托米记得,有时半夜,泰布勒会突然惊醒,一把抓起枪冲到门口,检查有没有人闯进来。他不敢一个人待在家里,还开始记录斯托米车子的里程数。他有把银色陶鲁斯法官左轮手枪,装了激光瞄准器。在家时,他常握着这把上了膛的枪,把红点对准斯托米。「因为巴里,我早就习惯了被人用枪指着脸,」她说,「所以我总告诉他,『你要是不小心开枪打了我,可得自己打911报警。』」

Around this time, Tabler learned that he could leave his life savings to the N.R.A., through its planned-giving program. The N.R.A. was by then among the most significant advocacy organizations in the country, generating hundreds of millions of dollars in revenue a year. The group made constant appeals to its members for contributions, and it lured big donations by offering photographs in a vanity magazine, commemorative jewelry, and gold blazers.

差不多就在这个时候,塔布勒得知,他可以通过全国步枪协会的遗产捐赠项目,把自己毕生的积蓄留给这个组织。那时的全国步枪协会,已是全美最具影响力的游说团体之一,年收入高达数亿美元。它不断向会员募捐,还用各种方式吸引大额捐款——比如在一本满足虚荣心的杂志上刊登捐赠者照片,赠送纪念珠宝,或是定制金色西装外套。

On August 1, 2011, without alerting Stormy, Tabler called the N.R.A. and left a message. Pierce Shields, an assistant director of planned giving, got back to him that afternoon, and later recounted the conversation in a signed affidavit. “Lew informed me that; he had heart disease since 1988,” Shields wrote. “That he hated liberals, that his girlfriend was the current beneficiary of his 401k, that it was valued around 462k, that his ‘yorkies’ were his children, that he sold industrial equipment, that he did not want his girlfriend ‘to receive a dime of his retirement plan,’ and that she was ‘a crazy bitch.’ ” Shields went on, “He said that he loved freedom and what the N.R.A. stood for and there was no better place for him to leave his money.”

2011年8月1日,泰布勒没跟斯托米打招呼,直接给全美步枪协会打了个电话,留了言。遗产规划部的副主任皮尔斯·希尔兹当天下午回了电话,后来在一份签署过的书面证词里复述了这段对话。「卢告诉我,他从1988年就得了心脏病,」希尔兹写道,「他恨自由派,他401k退休账户的当前受益人是女朋友,账户里大概有46万2千美元,他的约克夏犬就是他的孩子,他做工业设备销售,他不想让女朋友『从他退休计划里拿到一分钱』,还说她是『一个疯婊子』。」希尔兹接着写道:「他说他热爱自由,认同全美步枪协会的立场,没有比这里更好的地方来托付他的钱了。」

The next day, Tabler e-mailed Shields his latest retirement statement. He wrote that he “wanted to get this ball rolling,” adding, “I would hate to check out without having fulfilled this pledge. There is no organization that reflects my own personal views on freedom or that I feel is more deserving of my hard earned money than the N.R.A.”

第二天,泰布勒(Tabler)通过电子邮件向希尔兹(Shields)发去了最新的退休声明。他在信中写道,自己“想把这件事推进起来”,并补充说:“我可不想人走了,承诺还没兑现。没有任何一个组织能像全国步枪协会这样,既契合我对自由的个人理念,又更配得上我辛苦挣来的钱。”

The two men continued to correspond over the next few weeks, and on August 26th Tabler made the beneficiary change official. On a form that inquired about “spousal consent and acknowledgment,” Tabler wrote, “N/A.” When asked to describe his relationship to the gun-rights group, he said, “Friend of all Americans that care about the U.S. Constitution.” Tabler e-mailed the form to his employer, and then gave permission to the N.R.A. to put his name on display at the group’s headquarters.

接下来的几周里,两人继续通信。8月26日,泰布勒正式更改了受益人。在一张询问“配偶同意与知情情况”的表格上,他填了“不适用”。当被要求描述自己与这个持枪权组织的关系时,他写道:“所有关心美国宪法的美国人的朋友。”泰布勒把表格用电子邮件发给了雇主,随后授权全国步枪协会将他的名字展示在协会总部。
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On the afternoon of August 31st, Shields and his boss, Tim Fisher, the N.R.A.’s director of planned giving, ate lunch with Tabler at a seafood restaurant in Frederick. “Lew told me how his girlfriend ‘Stormy’ was a ‘low-life’ and that her first husband committed suicide,” Shields recalled of their meeting in his affidavit. “He said that he would kick her out but she would end up on the street. He also joked that if something ever happened to him she was probably involved.” Fisher added, in an affidavit of his own, that during lunch Tabler was “adamant about who he did not want to benefit from his 401-K and that of course was Stormy.” He wrote that Tabler “expressed his dismay that Stormy did not work outside the home and did not contribute financially.”

8月31日下午,希尔兹和上司——全国步枪协会计划捐赠总监蒂姆·费舍尔(Tim Fisher),与塔布勒在弗雷德里克一家海鲜餐厅共进午餐。「卢告诉我,他女朋友‘斯托米’是个‘下等人’,她第一任丈夫是自杀的,」希尔兹在证词中回忆那次会面,「他说想把她赶出去,但她会流落街头。他还开玩笑说,要是自己出了什么事,八成跟她脱不了干系。」费舍尔在自己的证词中补充,午餐时塔布勒「态度坚决地表示,绝不想让斯托米从他的401(k)退休金中获益」。他写道,塔布勒「对斯托米不外出工作、没有经济贡献这件事深感不满」。

Fisher later sent Tabler a handwritten note. “I want to thank you again for your passion for freedom and for the very significant gift you have made as evidence of that passion,” Fisher wrote. He informed Tabler that a gold “Benefactor ring” symbolizing his generosity was arriving soon.

费希尔后来给泰布勒寄去一封手写信。「我想再次感谢您对自由的热忱,以及您为证明这份热忱而做出的重大馈赠,」费希尔写道。他还告知泰布勒,一枚象征其慷慨的金色「捐助者戒指」即将送达。

Tabler checked in with Applied Industrial to make sure that the company had registered the change. “I’ve been in the hospital for my heart twice in the last two months,” he e-mailed. “My spirit will never rest if my girlfriend and her bumb [sic] son end up with all that money I’ve been saving for 30 years.”

泰布勒还联系了应用工业公司,确认变更已经登记在案。他在邮件里写道:「过去两个月,我因为心脏问题住了两次院。要是让我女朋友和她那个蠢儿子拿到我攒了三十年的钱,我死都不会瞑目的。」

Myles now had a place to live and a steady job working on cars. But he felt a sense of family was still missing. A friend gave him a vinyl copy of Jimi Hendrix’s “Rainbow Bridge,” and, on December 23, 2011, he bought a six-pack, drove to his mother’s house, and presented both the beer and the album as gifts to Tabler. “He invited me to stay,” Myles recalled. “We split the six-pack and fully listened to both sides of the album before I left that night. We actually had a good time together.”

迈尔斯如今有了住处,还有一份稳定的修车工作。但他总觉得,还缺了点什么——一种家的感觉。一位朋友送了他一张吉米·亨德里克斯(Jimi Hendrix)的《彩虹桥》(Rainbow Bridge)黑胶唱片。2011年12月23日,他买了六罐啤酒,开车去了母亲泰布勒家,把啤酒和唱片一并当作礼物送给她。“他让我留下来,”迈尔斯回忆道,“我们分着喝完了那六罐啤酒,完完整整听完了唱片的两面,那晚我才离开。我们真的在一起度过了一段很愉快的时光。”

It turned out to be an anomaly. The day after Christmas, Myles abruptly left work because his stomach was troubling him. He had to use the bathroom, and didn’t think he could wait until he got home. His mother’s house was on the way, so he called and asked if he could stop by. She said yes, but, while Myles was on the toilet, he heard Tabler screaming that he was unwelcome and an “intruder in his home.” Before Myles could pull up his pants, Tabler kicked in the door and pointed his revolver at him. “I’ll fucking shoot you, boy,” Tabler said, according to a police report.

结果这只是一次例外。圣诞节后第二天,迈尔斯因为胃不舒服提前下班。他急着上厕所,觉得撑不到回家。母亲家正好顺路,于是他打电话问能不能过去一趟。她答应了,可迈尔斯还在马桶上时,就听见泰布勒大喊着说他不受欢迎,是“闯进他家的入侵者”。迈尔斯还没来得及提上裤子,泰布勒就踹开门,用左轮手枪指着他。“我他妈一枪崩了你,小子。”根据警方报告,泰布勒这样说道。

Myles lunged at Tabler, and the two wrestled. The report said, “Myles grabbed Tabler’s gun hand, and pointed it towards the ceiling, and Tabler told him to let go because the gun might discharge.” Stormy intervened and managed to take the gun away. At some point, Tabler had dialled 911, but then hung up before speaking to an operator. The police showed up at the house, where an officer interviewed everyone and concluded, “I did not see any reason for Tabler to resort to the threat of deadly force.” The revolver had been fully loaded, and Tabler was charged with first-degree assault, second-degree assault, and reckless endangerment.

迈尔斯扑向泰布勒,两人扭打在一起。报告写道:「迈尔斯抓住泰布勒握枪的手,将其指向天花板,泰布勒让他松手,说枪可能会走火。」斯托米上前干预,设法夺下了枪。其间,泰布勒曾拨通911,但还没等接线员接听就挂断了。警察赶到现场,一名警员对所有人进行了问询,结论是:「我看不出泰布勒有任何理由诉诸致命武力的威胁。」左轮手枪当时装满了子弹,泰布勒被控一级攻击罪、二级攻击罪以及危害他人安全罪。

Soon after the incident, Stormy recalled, Tabler met with his attorney, who told him that he was going to lose his guns because of the case. When Tabler got home, he was sullen and quiet.

斯托米回忆,事发后不久,泰布勒见了他的律师,律师告诉他,因为这起案子,他的枪会被没收。泰布勒回到家时,阴沉着脸,一言不发。

But Tabler had a small consolation prize: he’d received his N.R.A. ring, and appeared delighted to wear it in front of Stormy. The jewelry represented a secret that would enable him to control her even after he died. On New Year’s Eve, Stormy went with Tabler to the home of a hunting friend. In handwritten notes from around that time, Stormy wrote that Tabler didn’t drink that night and that they had fun. It was “the last time we had sex!!” she recalled.

但泰伯勒有个小小的安慰奖:他收到了全国步枪协会的戒指,而且看起来很高兴能在斯托米面前戴上它。这件首饰代表着一个秘密,能让他在死后依然控制她。除夕夜,斯托米和泰伯勒一起去了一位猎友家。根据她当时的手写笔记,泰伯勒那晚没喝酒,他们玩得很开心。那是“我们最后一次做爱!!”她回忆道。

Early on the morning of January 10th, while it was still dark, Tabler, who was then fifty-six, told Stormy that his heart was bothering him. He planned to go into the office, he said, and then, following his custom, drive with a colleague to Johns Hopkins for surgery. Tabler shaved his forearms and dressed in bluejeans and a camouflage fleece jacket, but did not wear his N.R.A. ring. As he walked out the door, he was holding his twelve-gauge pump-action shotgun in a case. Tabler told Stormy that he was lending it to a friend. He hugged and kissed her. They both said, “I love you,” and then Stormy added, “Don’t worry about your surgery. I’ll be there.” She heard him drive off in his company-issued white Chevy pickup.

1月10日清晨,天还没亮,时年56岁的泰布勒告诉斯托米,他心脏不太舒服。他说打算先去趟办公室,然后照惯例,让同事开车送他去约翰斯·霍普金斯医院做手术。泰布勒刮了前臂的汗毛,穿上牛仔裤和一件迷彩抓绒夹克,但没戴他那枚全国步枪协会的戒指。出门时,他手里拎着一个枪匣,里面装着他那把12号口径的泵动霰弹枪。泰布勒对斯托米说,这是借给一个朋友的。他拥抱了她,吻了她。两人都说了“我爱你”,斯托米又补了一句:“别担心手术的事,我会在的。”她听见他开着公司配的那辆白色雪佛兰皮卡走了。

Around forty-five minutes later, Tabler drove into the empty Applied Industrial lot and parked behind the loading dock. He unlatched the tailgate of his truck. In one hand, he held the shotgun. In the other, he held a stick with a “V” shape carved into one end. He positioned the gun’s butt against the open tailgate and the muzzle against his chest. Then Tabler pushed the stick against the trigger, sending a round of bird shot through his heart.

大约四十五分钟后,泰布勒开车驶入空无一人的应用工业公司停车场,停在装卸台后面。他打开卡车后挡板,一手握着猎枪,一手拿着根木棍,棍子一端刻着个V形槽。他把枪托抵在敞开的挡板上,枪口对准自己胸口,然后用木棍顶住扳机。一发鸟弹射穿了他的心脏。

Soon afterward, a colleague arrived and found Tabler lying beside a dumpster. Blood trickled out of the corners of his mouth and covered his clothes. The colleague touched Tabler’s hand, which he later described as “ice cold.”

不久后,一位同事赶到,发现塔布勒倒在垃圾箱旁。鲜血从他嘴角渗出,浸透了衣服。同事碰了碰他的手,后来形容那只手“冰冷如霜”。

Stormy was still at home. As the morning wore on, she had called Tabler to check in, but he hadn’t picked up. She tried him many more times and became concerned. A friend of hers worked across the street from Applied Industrial, and Stormy asked her to check on him. “She kept saying to me, ‘There’s police over there. Somebody’s dead behind a trash can. All I can see is sneakers,’ ” Stormy recalled. She knew it was Tabler, and, when the authorities finally notified her, Stormy’s first thought was “You motherfucker you. How did you hug me when you walked out the door knowing what you were about to do?”

斯托米还在家。随着上午时间过去,她给泰布勒打过电话想问问情况,但他没接。她又打了好多次,开始担心起来。她有个朋友在应用工业公司街对面工作,斯托米便请她去看看泰布勒的情况。「她不停地跟我说,『那边有警察。垃圾桶后面死了个人。我只能看到一双运动鞋。』」斯托米回忆道。她知道那就是泰布勒。当警方最终通知她时,斯托米脑子里冒出的第一个念头是:「你这个混蛋。你出门的时候是怎么抱我的?你明明知道自己要去干什么。」

When a person enters a state of suffering and has thoughts of self-harm, they tend to reach for what is readily available. A firearm requires little effort to use and is almost certain to result in a fatality, which helps explain why gun suicide has accounted for a majority of suicide deaths in the United States every year since at least 1968. When Morse shot himself, in 1991, gun fatalities in America were more or less evenly split between suicide and homicide. In 2012, when Tabler shot himself, there were 20,666 gun suicides in the U.S., or sixty-two per cent of all gun deaths. This ratio remains stable, and the victims of these suicides have hardly changed, either: nearly eighty per cent of them are white men.

当一个人陷入痛苦并产生自残念头时,往往会选择手边最易得的东西。枪支几乎不需要费力就能使用,而且致死率极高——这有助于解释为什么至少从1968年起,每年美国自杀死亡人数中,枪支自杀都占了大多数。1991年莫尔斯(Morse)开枪自杀时,美国的枪支致死案中,自杀和凶杀的比例大致相当。到了2012年塔布勒(Tabler)开枪自杀那年,全美共有20666起枪支自杀,占所有枪支死亡人数的62%。这个比例至今保持稳定,而这些自杀的受害者群体也几乎没有变化:其中近八成是白人男性。

The N.R.A. has never released demographic information about its members, but research continues to show that white men are, by a wide margin, the Americans most likely to own firearms. Until recently, after the organization was beset by corruption scandals, it was the center of the Second Amendment movement and guided the behavior of millions of followers. Since 2013, it has lost at least two employees, both white men, to gun suicide. A third died the same way in 2020, soon after the N.R.A. fired him. Three years later, an article published in one of the organization’s magazines declared, “It is simply not proven that gun control will significantly reduce suicide rates.” Acknowledging otherwise would mean recognizing that a public-health crisis has been unfolding among the gun industry’s top customers.

全国步枪协会从未公布过其成员的构成数据,但研究持续表明,美国白人男性是持有枪支比例最高的群体,且远超其他人群。直到最近该组织深陷腐败丑闻之前,它一直是第二修正案运动的核心,引导着数百万追随者的行为。2013年以来,该协会至少有两名员工(均为白人男性)死于开枪自杀。2020年,第三名员工在被协会解雇后不久,以同样方式结束生命。三年后,协会旗下杂志刊文宣称:“控枪能显著降低自杀率的说法,根本未经证实。”承认事实,就意味着要正视一场正在枪支行业核心客户群体中蔓延的公共卫生危机。

On January 11th, the day after Tabler’s suicide, Stormy contacted Applied Industrial. There was a little more than two thousand dollars in Tabler’s checking account, and Stormy needed money to live on, to pay the mortgage, medical debts, and credit-card bills. When she reached someone at the company, she learned that she would receive about forty-one thousand dollars in life-insurance money, but that the nearly half a million dollars in Tabler’s retirement account would go to the N.R.A. The irony that Tabler had died by gun suicide only deepened her devastation. “I just bawled,” Stormy said.

1月11日,塔布勒自杀的第二天,斯托米联系了应用工业公司。塔布勒的活期账户里只剩两千美元多一点,斯托米需要钱来维持生活,支付房贷、医疗债务和信用卡账单。她联系上公司的人后得知,自己将拿到大约四万一千美元的人寿保险金,但塔布勒退休账户里将近五十万美元的存款,将全部归全国步枪协会所有。塔布勒是用枪结束自己生命的,这个讽刺让她的痛苦雪上加霜。“我当场就崩溃大哭了,”斯托米说。

Still, she assumed that, given the circumstances, the N.R.A. would refuse the money. She sent a handwritten fax to Applied Industrial, informing the company that she was contesting the beneficiary change. In the meantime, Myles moved home to be with his mom, and they began to sell everything of value.

尽管如此,她还是认为,考虑到这些情况,全国步枪协会应该会拒绝这笔钱。她给应用工业公司发了一封手写传真,告知对方她正在对受益人变更提出异议。与此同时,迈尔斯搬回家陪母亲,两人开始变卖所有值钱的东西。

In early March, Fisher, the N.R.A.’s planned-giving director, learned that Tabler had died. He e-mailed Applied Industrial, pointing out that Tabler had been dead for two months, and that “accounts with properly designated beneficiaries” are “generally available for distribution within 7-10 business days.” He went on, “We want to do whatever is needed to make this a smooth process.”

三月初,全国步枪协会的遗产捐赠事务主管费舍尔得知塔布勒已经去世。他给应用工业公司发去邮件,指出塔布勒已离世两个月,而「指定了受益人的账户」通常「在七到十个工作日内就能完成分配」。他接着写道:「我们愿意全力配合,确保流程顺利。」

Meanwhile, multiple debt collectors had filed claims against Tabler’s estate, and the register of wills informed Stormy that she also owed an inheritance tax, since she was now the sole owner of the home.

与此同时,多家讨债公司已对塔布勒的遗产提出索赔,遗嘱登记处也通知斯托米,她还得缴纳一笔遗产税,因为现在她是这栋房子的唯一所有人。
Ashes on the seat of a lawn mower.
Tabler’s ashes sit on the seat of a lawn mower in the garage.
塔布勒的骨灰放在车库中一台割草机的座位上。

As a favor, a neighbor of Stormy’s who was a lawyer spoke to the N.R.A.’s assistant general counsel, Sarah Gervase, on her behalf. The neighbor raised the possibility that the organization might give up some of the money, according to Gervase, who recounted the exchange in an e-mail with Applied Industrial in early June. Gervase wrote that she “informed” Stormy’s neighbor that the “NRA is not willing to settle this.” Tabler’s cause of death did not seem to have any bearing on the organization’s position.

斯托米的一位律师邻居帮忙出面,联系了全国步枪协会的助理总法律顾问莎拉·热尔韦斯(Sarah Gervase)。据热尔韦斯说,这位邻居提出,协会或许可以放弃部分款项。她在六月初发给应用工业公司的一封邮件中详述了这次沟通。热尔韦斯写道,她已“告知”斯托米的邻居,“全国步枪协会不愿就此事和解”。泰布勒的死因似乎丝毫没有影响该组织的立场。

Stormy started cold-calling lawyers in the hope of finding anyone to fight one of the most powerful political organizations in the country. Everyone she called turned her down, until she happened on Paul Jorgensen, an attorney who had moved to Maryland in the nineteen-seventies, after a stint in San Francisco during the height of the counterculture. He wore enormous glasses and worked in a dim, ramshackle office, among stacks of old storage boxes and piles of paper. “The law is bullshit,” he told me. “It favors whoever has the most money.”

斯托米开始给律师们打推销电话,希望能找到人对抗这个国家最有权势的政治组织之一。她联系的每一个人都拒绝了她,直到她偶然找到了保罗·约根森(Paul Jorgensen)。这位律师在七十年代搬到了马里兰州,此前曾在反文化运动鼎盛时期的旧金山待过一段时间。他戴着一副巨大的眼镜,在一间昏暗破旧的办公室里工作,四周堆满了旧储物箱和成摞的纸张。“法律就是扯淡,”他告诉我,“它偏向钱最多的那一方。”

Jorgensen matched the N.R.A.’s tenacity. Recounting the experiences of Stormy and Myles, and compiling records to substantiate their stories, he argued that his client, as Tabler’s dutiful partner for some twenty years, was entitled to his savings. The fight dragged on for eighteen months. Stormy’s debts grew alongside Tabler’s 401(k) account balance, which, by February, 2014, had reached nearly five hundred and forty-five thousand dollars. That month, Stormy signed a settlement with the N.R.A. She felt that it was her only choice; her financial burdens were too large, and she didn’t want to lose her home. She received a hundred and five thousand dollars, and the organization took the rest. Her portion didn’t last long. She covered the family’s debts, and said she paid Jorgensen tens of thousands of dollars.

约根森拿出了不输全国步枪协会的韧劲。他一边梳理斯托米和迈尔斯的经历,一边整理材料来佐证他们的说法,主张自己的当事人作为塔布勒二十来年尽职尽责的伴侣,理应分得他的积蓄。这场拉锯战持续了十八个月。斯托米的债务越滚越多,塔布勒的401(k)账户余额也在同步增长——到2014年2月,已接近五十四万五千美元。就在那个月,斯托米与全国步枪协会签了和解协议。她觉得这是唯一的选择;经济负担太重了,她不想连房子都保不住。她拿到了十万五千美元,协会拿走了剩下的。她分到的那份没撑多久。她还清了家里的债务,还说付给约根森的律师费就有好几万。

Stormy was grateful for her attorney’s work, but remained consumed by feelings of rage and injustice. “It’s a total mindfuck,” she told me. “The N.R.A. fucking played Lew. They viewed him as a sucker, filled up his mind with a bunch of bullshit, and scammed him.”

斯托米对律师的工作心怀感激,但愤怒与不公感依然吞噬着她。「这完全是精神摧残。」她对我说,「全国步枪协会把卢耍得团团转。他们把他当傻子,灌了一脑子狗屁,骗了他。」

(The N.R.A., Sarah Gervase, and Pierce Shields did not respond to requests for comment. Tim Fisher could not be reached. He and Shields no longer work for the organization.)

(全国步枪协会、莎拉·热维斯和皮尔斯·希尔兹未回应置评请求。未能联系到蒂姆·费舍尔。他与希尔兹均已不再为该组织工作。)

In 2015, Stormy got her first job since giving birth to Myles, as a cashier at a local gas station. After a disagreement with her boss, she was fired, and took a position at a nursing home. Her responsibilities there, she said, included bathing patients and changing their bedpans. During the pandemic, in 2021, a patient asked her to take some clothes to Goodwill, which was a breach of company policy. Stormy obliged, and again was fired. She then found a job at FedEx, as a package handler. She is now sixty-four and works night and early-morning shifts, from 10:30 p.m. to 9 a.m., six days a week.

2015年,斯托米(Stormy)在生下迈尔斯(Myles)后找到了第一份工作,在当地一家加油站当收银员。跟老板闹了矛盾之后,她被炒了,随后去了一家养老院。她说,工作内容包括给病人洗澡、倒便盆。2021年疫情期间,有个病人让她帮忙把一些衣服送到慈善商店Goodwill,这违反了公司规定。斯托米照做了,结果又被解雇。后来她在联邦快递找了份包裹分拣员的活儿。如今她六十四岁,上夜班和早班,从晚上十点半干到早上九点,一周六天。

Myles still lives with Stormy. For the past eight years, his girlfriend and her daughter, who is going into fifth grade, have lived at the house, too. Myles considers the child his own. He’s found a bit of solace in his closeness with her, and in being attentive, patient, and kind. He suffers from intense anxiety, which he manages with medical marijuana.

迈尔斯(Myles)仍和斯托米住在一起。过去八年里,他的女友和她即将上五年级的女儿也一直住在这栋房子里。迈尔斯把那个孩子视如己出。在与她的亲近中,在付出关心、耐心和善意时,他找到了一丝慰藉。他患有严重的焦虑症,靠医用大麻来缓解。

The adults in the house pool their resources. “We’re surviving,” Stormy told me, in February. She and Myles sat across from me at their dining-room table. Sunshine poured through the domed skylight. After her night shift, Stormy’s eyes were raw and red-rimmed. As she talked about money, she began to cry. “I’m not going to be able to retire,” she said. “I’m just catching up. I want to make sure I keep this house.”

家里的成年人把资源凑在一起用。二月,斯托米(Stormy)对我说:「我们是在勉强撑着。」她和迈尔斯(Myles)坐在餐桌对面,阳光从穹顶天窗倾泻而下。刚下夜班的斯托米双眼通红,布满血丝。说到钱的时候,她哭了起来。「我怕是退不了休了,」她说,「我一直在追赶,只想保住这栋房子。」

The roof needs urgent repairs, and the siding needs a fresh coat of paint. The deck was rotting but Stormy couldn’t afford to fix it, so she had it torn down. There’s also still a hole in the bathroom door, where Tabler had kicked it during his final confrontation with Myles.

屋顶急需修缮,外墙也该重新粉刷了。露台已经朽坏,但斯托米(Stormy)拿不出钱来修,只好让人拆掉。浴室门上还有个洞,是泰布勒(Tabler)最后一次跟迈尔斯(Myles)对峙时一脚踹出来的。

Not long ago, Stormy dislocated her shoulder at work, and workers’ compensation accidentally overpaid her by three thousand dollars. She didn’t realize it, and used the money. Now she has to pay it back. Last year, she had a mild stroke. “You’re worried about every day,” Stormy said. “Just to make sure that everything’s taken care of and bills are paid or what else can fucking happen.”

不久前,斯托米(Stormy)上班时肩膀脱臼,工伤赔偿金意外多发了三千美元。她当时没察觉,把钱花了,现在得还回去。去年,她还经历了一次轻微中风。「每一天都提心吊胆,」斯托米说,「就为了确保一切都能应付过去,账单能付清,或者天知道还会出什么幺蛾子。」

I asked about Tabler’s firearms, and Stormy told me that, immediately after his death, she stored them with a friend. She did not want guns in her home. Myles, she said, gets depressed, and “he’s only seen men take care of issues by killing themselves.” I asked Myles if he thought he would have died by gun suicide if he had access to weapons. “I definitely do,” he answered.

我问起泰布勒的枪支,斯托米告诉我,他死后她立刻把枪存放在朋友那里。她不想家里有枪。她说,迈尔斯会情绪低落,而且「他见过的男人解决问题的方式,只有自杀这一种。」我问迈尔斯,如果手边有枪,他会不会已经用枪结束了自己的生命。「肯定会,」他回答。

Before Tabler died, he composed an e-mail on his work account that he never sent. “I woke up at 2:30 this morning,” it read. “Decided not to go to the hospital again. This isn’t life.” He signed off, “Tell everyone I’m sorry. I couldn’t take it any more.” The e-mail surfaced during Stormy’s fight with the N.R.A. When she was forced to sell the family’s valuables for money, one of the items she pawned was Tabler’s gold benefactor ring. For her, it symbolized deception and heartlessness. But for Tabler it was proof that he had served the cause of freedom. His ashes are in a box in Stormy’s cluttered garage, while Morse’s are inside the house. ♦

泰布勒去世前,用工作邮箱写了一封从未发出的邮件。「我凌晨两点半就醒了,」邮件里写道,「决定不再去医院了。这根本不叫活着。」他在结尾说:「替我向大家说声抱歉,我撑不下去了。」这封邮件是在斯托米与全国步枪协会抗争期间浮出水面的。她被迫变卖家当时,典当的物品中就包括泰布勒那枚金质捐助人戒指。在她眼里,这枚戒指象征着欺骗与冷漠。但对泰布勒而言,那是他曾为自由事业效力的证明。如今,他的骨灰装在盒子里,搁在斯托米堆满杂物的车库里,而莫尔斯的骨灰则安放在屋内。♦

This story was published in partnership with The Trace, a nonprofit news organization covering guns in America.

本文与报道美国枪支问题的非营利新闻机构 The Trace 合作发布。

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